#qotd when was the first time you heard the term ‘Paraya dhan’ or the fact that you will be ‘given away’ when you get married.

#aotd I was 12 years old when I heard the term paraya dhan or ‘parki thapan’ to be precise which is almost equivalent in Gujarati. I don’t think I was mature enough to understand the atrocities associated with the term but I was certainly sensible enough to gather that something was amiss with the term. Something was not quite right.

Now obviously as soon as I post this people will tell me that it is our tradition, our culture, our beliefs, who are we to question them. I am sorry. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s sentiments. I value my morals too much to hurt anyone. I love my parents so much that I give in to their beliefs. I respect opinions. But, at the same time I also don’t say that I ‘OWN’ my parents so how come A daughter becomes a paraya dhan. I understand that love comes within families not by ownership but by mutual understanding. However, whatever you say to me these small things refuse to settle into my tiny mind. If you can, Explain. My beliefs are not open for discussion but yes, your opinions I would love to know.

Also, coming to ‘dhan’ I wouldn’t quite feel an embodiment of wealth when I myself have to depend financially on someone else. But that is a different topic altogether and am sure would start a different rant among a few people.

But if you feel, even minutely close to what I do then repeat after me. I AM I. I might be a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, a mother but I am not a piece of land to be owned. I belong in part relationships, with selfless devotion but I belong to myself too. I am I.

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