“Oh, I am all good.”

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It breaks my heart every time I see him and I still have no idea what to do about it. I thought he completely forgot me, I did not even existed for him but then he just comes in front of me and is gushing all his charm on me and I the instant fool, am all over his flaws.

‘Oh I am all good’ I say, but inside, my heart is piercing, shattering into pieces.

What do I do?

Run away?

But my heart never wants to.

So I stay and talk despite all the impossibilities.

“I am all good, how are you?” I really want to know. I want to know how has he been? How has life treated him? How is his work? Is everything okay at home? Above all, I want to know why, just why it took him so long to acknowledge my presence? I had been around for quite a time now but it didn’t seem to matter to him. I had a lot many questions but I kept shut, we smiled and talked about general stuff and after a while I say good bye. I knew, this time I had to say it first, I didn’t want to be left back again. I can tell from his ways that he has to go now, and I have to accept it.

“Good bye.” His smile went deeper into my heart.

It was easy for him to come and go and return after even declining my existence for so long.

But it wasn’t for me, just wasn’t for me.

 


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71 responses to ““Oh, I am all good.””

  1. musicgirl19 Avatar

    This is so sad, but well written. Hope you’re okay. ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      I am.
      But sometimes emotions win over rationality.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anjana Avatar

    Every single word is truly come from your heart. You’ll learn to live with it. Just be patient.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thank you so much.
      I am trying with all my might. Just do not need any tumults coming.

      Like

  3. Fab Writings Avatar

    This is so emotionally sad! You’ve written it beautifully! 😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot dear.
      It is just plain what I felt. Sometimes the heart does speak louder.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fab Writings Avatar

        That’s so true! 😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Dewy Avatar

    One day his comings will no longer result in the somersaulting heart 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      I sure hope for that day to come soon.
      Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. houstonphotojourney Avatar

    I’m sure just talking with him took courage and it appears you handled yourself in a proud and dignified manner. Sometimes it’s just that someone better is meant for us so one gets removed and later you learn it was for so much more! I know that’s not much comfort now but it always seems to work out that way 🙂 so cheers to a 1 million times better and one who will see who we all see 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thank you so much dear.
      This sure helped me. I am feeling way better now and you don’t have to worry about me.
      I understand that when something does not go the way we want to, It is certainly for the better.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Akhila Avatar

    Oh..very sentimental dear.. but I liked that you said good bye first

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      I had to do it this time.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Akhila Avatar

        Hmm.. I understand ..something which too practice, obviously in different contexts

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Soumya Avatar

    It takes great strength to love someone so deep that it wont matter whether the person loves you or not. Hold on to the sentiments, write it down somewhere, it will give you strength and happiness on a lonely day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Hello there,
      Thank you so much for peeking into this small blog of mine.
      I have the habit of keeping journals and whenever I feel that there is something I cannot speak about I go and write it there and as you said, it really does give me the strength at difficult times.
      Thanks a lot dear.
      Have a great day ahead.
      Much love,

      Liked by 1 person

  8. kalyansparks Avatar

    Don’t worry moushmi..as I said in previous posts many times..you have locked him in your heart and you are not allowing him to go..but remember when don’t let him go. YOU are not welcoming new ONE who may better suit you in all levels..world and nature and universe is fair.when you want something badly and you didn’t get it remember that it doesn’t suit you..who knows what happens afterward if he is with you..and who knows there may be another cupid who adores you more than him..don’t worry always..please moushmi

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thank you so much dear.
      I am really very well now. Please do not worry about me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kalyansparks Avatar

        But you wrote those sad posts..that says you are worried

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        It was a couple of days back.
        So don’t you worry. I am right on the track now!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. kalyansparks Avatar

        Hmmmm…now I am thinking..I should be really your friend to there beside you and console you

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        You already did that! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      5. kalyansparks Avatar

        Yeah..but actually none of my friends fell in love..and none of my friends had break up AMD none of them cried..and especially I don’t have friends in girls😭

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahahaha
        How could that be? I highly doubt you not having any girl friends!!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. kalyansparks Avatar

        For me or for my friends??????

        Liked by 2 people

      8. kalyansparks Avatar

        Gfs..or friends in girls???

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Friends in girls, or even otherwise.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. kalyansparks Avatar

        Hmmm..noooooo..yaar…I am from mechanical engineering…I don’t have close friends in girls whom I can share everything with or whom I can tease with or whom I can play….

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahaha
        So you have tough dudes, instead, pulling your leg every time :-p

        Liked by 1 person

      12. kalyansparks Avatar

        Yeah..we are like proud singles..we used to see other couples..we either gets jealous if not handsome guy gets pretty girl or play jokes or abuse them..or we used to stare other girls

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Lol!!
        How are you doing by the way?

        Liked by 1 person

      14. kalyansparks Avatar

        Chatting with you angel na…….

        Liked by 1 person

      15. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Angel?
        That went too far.
        You lost me right there :-p

        Liked by 1 person

      16. kalyansparks Avatar

        It’s OK…Actually when I said angel..that should not goo far that should go deep because I may said that in way not related to physical beauty also

        Liked by 1 person

      17. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        I understand that but I am still not habituated of that kind of names.

        Liked by 1 person

      18. kalyansparks Avatar

        Hahah..let me call you puppy or dangerous devil…

        Liked by 1 person

      19. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Why do have to give me names then?
        Moushmi isn’t good or what??/

        Liked by 1 person

      20. kalyansparks Avatar

        It’s routine..and I can’t always type that moushmi….let’s make it simple..radha..how’s that

        Liked by 1 person

      21. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahhaha
        You won’t stop? Would you?

        Liked by 1 person

      22. kalyansparks Avatar

        Absolutely…you are 102 percent right .why would I stop…when a girl who is talking sweetly and when she is smiling and laughing for your words..who would stop..that’s good feeling for boy

        Liked by 1 person

      23. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Okay so you can carry on alone.
        I got to go.
        Good night.

        Liked by 1 person

      24. kalyansparks Avatar

        😭😭😭😭..This is nice way of cutting convo….And how can I carry alone..should I speak to ghosts

        Liked by 1 person

      25. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahahaha
        You could have with your dream demons!! :-p

        Liked by 1 person

      26. kalyansparks Avatar

        But how can be with dream demons when angel like you is chatting….wait a second..is it a dream.please confirm me radha

        Liked by 1 person

      27. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahaha
        Nope.
        Just what came to my mind. No such place.

        Liked by 1 person

      28. kalyansparks Avatar

        See I like people smiles..please smile more..actually flirting can be good weapon to bring smile and boost energies until it doesn’t hurt

        Liked by 1 person

      29. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        It gets mundane!
        Every guy knows only to flirt these days.

        Liked by 1 person

      30. kalyansparks Avatar

        This is second time I am listening from you…Apart from flirting I also know something,it’s called ……ok..I don’t….Actually it’s not flirting..I didn’t even see but I tried to see you manytimes😝😝😝😝😝

        Like

      31. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahaha
        That’s just a try then.

        Liked by 1 person

      32. kalyansparks Avatar

        Soo do you think I am trying to flirt with you

        Liked by 1 person

      33. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Yeh, I think that’s all you do!

        Liked by 1 person

      34. kalyansparks Avatar

        Hmm..That’s weird ..right??.without even meeting you and seeing you..ita like flirting with some unknown akshavani alien

        Liked by 1 person

      35. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        You should stop flirting you know.
        May be concentrate on someone more worthy!

        Liked by 1 person

      36. kalyansparks Avatar

        Yup…ok..I agree with you..but tell me one thing..Am I hurting you???? Be honest..

        Liked by 1 person

      37. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Nope, why and how would you hurt me?

        Liked by 1 person

      38. kalyansparks Avatar

        I don’t know.after speaking those kind of words..some girls may feel that I am doing over action..and try to avoid..when I ask why they get hurt.actually I only flirt with unknown and strangers..when pretty girls are near me I can’t even talk to them I just and sit and stare ..I just do with you because..if you want to beat me,you can’t😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      39. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahaha
        Smarty pants,
        Now stop flirting and get back to your work.
        Got to go,
        Good night.

        Liked by 1 person

      40. kalyansparks Avatar

        Work..I have only one work now ..flirting with angels in dreams..how will dreams come?? Soo I too have to sleep…and please don’t come to my dreams..enough of flirting class for today..whenever I use some lines on you..in a few minutes you will turn like a principal or headmistress and give class to me..and then I feel like a student..what’s this 😭

        Liked by 1 person

      41. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Hahahaha
        I don’t know, but I think it has to happen that way only.

        Liked by 1 person

      42. kalyansparks Avatar

        What way..giving lecture..oh my god..I am safe if I am near you..you would have made me kneel down and beat me with stick and gave me homework to write ” I don’t flirt with women” 100 times

        Liked by 1 person

      43. kalyansparks Avatar

        Good night… sweet dreams..

        Liked by 1 person

  9. shatterthefourthwall Avatar

    Very honest and direct. Really great.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thank you so much dear.
      I really appreciate your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. stacilys Avatar

    Ohhhhh, this one is heart-wrenching. I could feel your anguish in this.
    Hope you are well.
    🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      I am good, thank you.
      It does get you at a point, but then you know that its time to move on. there is nothing left behind.

      Liked by 1 person

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