Fallen To This New Level!

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I have fallen to this new stature

Cause, I have sat and done

Absolutely nothing despite being all alone.

 

I sat and stared

Stared at the dark wall,

Giving away ramifications of my past.

 

I sat; sat and stared at

I don’t know what,

Giving away only darkness.

 

I looked on at the wall

Thinking and rethinking

About I don’t even know what.

 

I have fallen to a new level

Cause I didn’t even realize

When the time ticked by

And it was no more the day,

I started thinking on.

 

I have fallen to this new level

Where I don’t even understand anything,

Where I have stopped feeling some things.

 

I sit and stare and think

Trying hard, very hard,

to only cry a very bit.

 

But I fathom,

I have fallen to a very new level

Where even crying seems to have

Gone away with a new fling

Drying my soul, not letting it brim.

 

I have fallen to this new depth this time

Cause I don’t even realize where I am.

Or how to climb up,

Or swim away.

Cause this time I don’t even reckon myself.

Cause this time, I don’t feel anything.

I sit and stare and think and the time keeps ticking

Trying to realize what I am even thinking,

But all I gather is I am at a new depth,

And now it is difficult to even keep climbing.

Difficult to even keep swimming.

 

I have fallen

And I keep falling,

I have drowned,

And I keep drowning.

I find a new level of

Nothingness,

Meaninglessness.

And I question myself

Where am I?

 

*

Never been good with poems, never been a poet. This is just a vain attempt as always, and as all my previous attempts to try and write in as limited words as possible, and to express as far and as truthfully I can.


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38 responses to “Fallen To This New Level!”

  1. kalyansparks Avatar

    Poem is nothing but creative play of expressing your feelings..but more than poem..I feel it as honest attempt in which a person who was damaged in past..and how the person stopped feeling things and got numb to surroundings..and how he started loving darkness…this is Soo real..when I am reading this..I completely understood and completely relate to your poem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot Kalyan, I was absolutely unsure about this, but you guys have really helped me here.
      I am glad you relate and understand the feelings I tried to portray.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Shantanu Baruah Avatar

    You wrote this beautifully. You are a poet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      And I am flattered 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Shantanu Baruah Avatar

        You are welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  3. myplace3187 Avatar

    Your writing is just like a poet which is awakened inside of you using the ability you were born with. Keep creating these poems for us to marvel over !!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Hey, thanks a lot for these wonderful words. I cherish them today.
      And welcome to my blog, hope to see you often here 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Rêveuse Avatar

    Awesome 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks dear.

      Like

  5. Adi Avatar

    When a writer gets a feeling , a reader gets that too and its your very internal instinct, which you are exploring, not yet understood but you give yourself permission to feel them and that’s the best part. This will help you to cope…And to talk about being a poet, For me a poets work is to express and communicate and that you always do, amazingly well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot Aditi for understanding. Yes, I am unclear, and lost, but I am trying my best to move forward.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Mark Lanesbury Avatar

    You want purpose…meaning…and the darkness of the night seems to last a long time. But a dawn is coming, so in the meantime find that purpose. What does your heart really want? Ask it, and step towards it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      You always have deep and profound insight in your words. Thanks for that Mark.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mark Lanesbury Avatar

        As do you young lady. You also sit and ponder deeply, asking your heart for some direction when this world seems to continuously blind you with its many paths. But none seeming to have any meaning. Be loving to yourself first…then watch the gates open ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
        Moushmi Radhanpara

        Yes, Mark. If anything I have learnt is I will try and be gentle with myself, I will love myself and from there I will find my way.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Infinite Living Avatar

    I loved this! Feels beautiful and truthful! It is a good space to be in kind acceptance of what is and then being led from there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot Pragalbha, you made my day by saying so. I really appreciate your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Infinite Living Avatar

        You are very welcome 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. shalini Avatar

    Well written, I could feel the desolation. A very big hug to you and I am here

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Hugs to you too.
      And thanks a lot Shalini, for being there. 🙂

      Like

  9. ESP Avatar
    ESP

    your writing is very honest, very introspective

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot dear.

      Like

  10. Megala Avatar

    Beautiful poem !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moushmi Radhanpara Avatar
      Moushmi Radhanpara

      Thanks a lot Megala.

      Liked by 1 person

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